Monday, January 30, 2017

New Year, New Me?


Happy *Almost* February

2016 was hard. I don't say this because I want you to commiserate with me about celebrity deaths or to complain about the election. I say it because 2016 challenged who I thought I was. I say 2016 was hard because I want to be authentic. I cannot hide behind my screen and act like it's all lollipops and gumdrops.
Social media and blogs takes the snapshot of the BEST moments in my day... It doesn't show the tired and puffy eyes, the pile of clothes I haven't put away or the dishes that are stacked up because I haven't mastered "doing it all".
Somewhere in July, I hit the  crash and burn portion of my creativity. I just didn't feel it, but I didn't want to stop my blog, or set aside time to just be.  I kept on at the insane pace- over scheduled and anxiety ridden. I should've listened to the little voice that kept telling me to just be still.

Football season came all to quickly... This season was the biggest time commitment we have experienced... and I felt the effects of it. We blocked off Saturdays exclusively for us time. I felt the weight of strained friendships as I buckled down to support our relationship and my fiancee in his calling. Maybe this year was different because we knew the next season would be our first married one. Maybe we pushed through the hard parts to better lay the foundation for future seasons. It's hard to eloquently flesh out my feelings about how hard this season was, but I am glad we're through it.

I wanted to find joy in blogging, but I was tired and not happy with the negative "voice" I was displaying every week.  I finally decided time off to foster creativity would help. I don't want 2017 to be the same. I crave a creative outlet, and this blog has been on my heart for a long time. On the horizon is graduation, a wedding, first jobs and a new house. In the next year, I plan to shift my blog towards the new life events, a "post-grad" life, if you will.

But for now, I am back. I have a new outlook. I am immeasurably blessed. As hard as 2016 was, I can testify about so many blessings I have received because I chose to listen to God. His plan is GREATER than any plan this type-a, control-freak can dream up. Thanks for reading my blog. I am ever grateful.


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